Neville - not good for a hangover!

This time last week dear reader it looked like the end of the Premier League season was going to be a bit of a damp squib as Chelsea looked set to cruise to the title, Man City looked to have fourth sewn up and Hull and Burnley looked doomed to spend next season in the league of hell. Whilst the Tigers’ and Clarets’ relegations now look increasingly certain, the title race and Champions League races have been blown wide open. Chelsea were fortunate to beat Bolton last week but their luck ran out at White Hart Lane on Saturday evening. Chelsea lost to Spurs and in doing so were absolutely terrible in a game that they should have lost at least 5-1. Gareth Bale ripped them apart and in recent weeks the slightly odd looking Welshman has possibly been the best player in the league – a Welshman the best player in the Premier League who’d have believed that! The game also saw that horrible thug John Terry get sent off as he continues to look off the pace which must be a worry for Don Fabio – don’t worry Fabio there is always Matthew Upson who could come in (oh God England are in big trouble).

Chelsea though were more than likely to be able to get away with their latest stumble as they already had a four point lead over Manchester United who had an equally tricky game at that big council house in east Manchester the rent of which is paid by you dear reader every time you fill up your Vauxhall Vectra with unleaded. After a week of typically under-stated Sky build-up to this game it was actually rather tedious as City decided to revert to an impression of a Serie A team by seemingly settling for a 0-0 from minute one. The only outcome from this rather boring game was of course another winner for Manchester United deep into injury time for the second time against City this season. The one photograph that seemed to emerge from this game was one of those lovely Gary Neville and Paul Scholes chaps kissing on the lips. I woke up on Sunday with a mild hangover the one thing that I did not want to see was a ginger man and a man resembling a rat kissing each other. Sorry dear reader but the only same sex kissing I would be happy to see is between Sky Sports presenter Georgie Thompson and Countryfile presenter Julia Bradbury.
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Messi's 4 goals eliminate Arsenal

Well dear reader another week has passed since we last met and the end of the season is now very much in focus which inevitably leads to drama in more games than not. The week just passed began with Arsenal and Manchester United trying to continue the Premier League’s dominance of the latter stages of the Champions League. An injury ravaged Arsenal attempted to beat the greatest football team since records began (as decided by the English media in 2010 so ignoring the Milan team of the 1990s, the Ajax team of the 1970s and the Real Madrid team of the 1950s) and predictably got thrashed by some chap called Messi. Lionel played rather well but it must be remembered that Arsenal were completely under-strength for the game and I would fancy most half decent teams to score a few goals against a back four containing Mickael Silvestre.

So with Arsenal out all eyes turned to that big warehouse in an industrial estate in western Manchester (which for some reason is branded as the “Theatre of Dreams” by the self-titled biggest club in the world) to see if Manchester United could beat Bayern Munich and so make it to the semi-finals of the Champions League. After twenty minutes United had steam-rollered the Germans and were cruising but then somehow managed to throw it away courtesy of a brilliant goal by that crock who used to play for Chelsea – Arjen Robben. Alex Ferguson’s (I refuse to call him Sir) reaction to this game was hilarious as he said the Munich players pressured the referee into sending off Rafael. Now for those of you with short memories I would ask you to remember every time a decision has gone against Manchester United in the last twenty years and think of the sight of Roy Keane, Gary Neville, Jaap Stam and Rio Ferdinand surrounding countless referees. That man Ferguson really beggars belief. He also decided to play the clearly injured Wayne Rooney further showing that United are nothing other than a one man team.
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Arsenal drop points at Birmingham

I should begin this week’s article with a quick summary of the issues that I have, somewhat foolishly, attempted to predict the outcome of in the last few weeks. Those of you with good memories will have noticed that I concluded that I could not see Arsenal dropping another point in their remaining games which would lead to them being crowned champions. What should happen in the weekend just past then dear reader? Well Arsenal go and concede a stupid goal in injury time at Birmingham to draw with the over-achieving but still distinctly average Blues. Quite simply this now makes Arsenal’s title triumph unlikely and the reason for this is none other than Manuel Almunia. Mr. Almunia has never convinced as a top goalkeeper but for some reason Arsene has stuck with him when he could have bought Messrs. Given or Jaaskelainen to provide a much more convincing presence between the sticks. However, as a matter of consistency I better stick to an Arsenal title – although god knows how that can happen now!

The race for fourth is now down to three teams as Aston Villa have, as last season, capitulated in the run-in – losing 7-1 to Chelsea was so ridiculous even Salomon Kalou managed to score – whilst Man City, Liverpool and Spurs all won comfortably. Worryingly Liverpool have got by far the easiest run-in and it will be very depressing if the self-titled “Big Four” finish as per the last few years again – so come on Spurs and City keep going and keep winning.
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Jose Mourinho has a successful return to Stamford Bridge

It has been another action-packed week in the continually wacky world of football that has managed to provide numerous talking points (luckily for me in the sense that this article would be rather sparse if nothing eventful had happened). I will therefore dear reader attempt to cover the main headlines that have emerged from the Champions League, the Europa League (nee UEFA Cup), the Premier League and lastly the Football League.

To take you back to the middle of last week, we were in the midst of the second round of fixtures to decide the quarter final line-up of the Champions League. The focal point of hype was the second leg of the Chelsea v. Inter Milan tie as this saw the return of “The Special One” to Stamford Bridge (Sky got so excited in the build-up to this fixture that they even led one bulletin with a report that Jose was going for a walk in Hyde Park, which seems to put question marks on the use of the word “News” in “Sky Sports News”).

Going into this game I fully expected Chelsea to be too strong for Inter as despite losing the first leg 2-1 they were actually the better team in that game. What transpired, however, was a tepid Chelsea performance as Inter controlled the game from start to finish and fully deserved to progress into the last eight. I therefore feel obliged to partially eat my words on the weakness of Serie A as suggested a couple of weeks ago as Inter completely out-played Chelsea and seemed to have superior players in every position. Since arriving at Stamford Bridge with his billions in 2003, Roman Abramovich has craved the Champions League more than any other trophy. Despite hiring a manager with an extremely good record in the competition and a team packed with winning experience they have again failed. It may be harsh to dispense with Ancelotti but there is an increasingly valid train of thought that the Chelsea team is an ageing group that is only going to get worse. Therefore expect Roman to get the cheque-book out to reinvigorate his Chelsea team to give them a fresh crack at wining the ultimate club football prize.
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Can Manchester United make it 4 in a row?

Having attempted to dissect and predict the outcome of the keenly fought relegation battle and the recent phenomenon that is the battle for fourth place, I shall begin this week’s piece by updating on each of these. The big winners in the relegation scrap being Bolton and Wigan whilst Burnley and Wolves remain entrenched. The big losers though appear to be West Ham who must have had a home game against Bolton marked as a clear opportunity for three points. Having lost this game though, the Hammers now face away games against Arsenal and Chelsea. It appears that the likable Gianfranco Zola is set for a few more weeks of sleepless nights yet. Of the teams involved in the fight to scrape into the final Champions League place, only Liverpool were in league action in this round of games due to the FA Cup. Their away game to Wigan looked like the perfect opportunity for Benitez’s men to leapfrog their rivals into fourth. However, as has often been the case this season Liverpool surrendered meekly to a 1-0 defeat which makes their chances look bleak to put it mildly. They have now played more games than their rivals and there appears no sign of their form turning for the better and it seems that they will continue to scrap for any points that they can get between now until the end of the season without looking remotely convincing.

Keen readers will note that having looked at the aforementioned battles in the Premier League, it is only left for this column to try and shed some light on the final prize on offer this season – the small matter of the title. As predicted at the start of the season this involves Chelsea and Manchester United who would appear in an article of similar ilk since the Premier League was created in 1992. More surprisingly, Arsenal are also in the thick of this battle and as it stands two points separate these three clubs meaning that as Brian Moore once said “it’s all up for grabs now”.
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An all too familiar sight at 3 grounds around May.

Having been brave/foolish enough to try and predict the outcome of the race for the final Champions League place in the Premier League this season, I am this week further putting my neck on the block by attempting to make sense of the muddy waters of the relegation battle.

As we stand all of the teams in the bottom tier of the Premier League have 11 games to try and save their season (and in many senses the financial future of their clubs as well). As in previous seasons this involves the majority of the teams promoted from the Championship last season and the usual more-established Premier League clubs.

I speak on this subject as someone who supports one of these more-established teams who begin every season with one aim – to get to 40 points ASAP. This is the case for all Premier League teams outside of the so called “Big Four” as well as Spurs, Aston Villa, Manchester City and Everton. From experience most of the rest are of a similar standard and success or failure comes down to who is able to gain the most points from home games against teams outside of those eight top clubs. It is for this reason that Fulham, Blackburn and Stoke are not in the mire this season, but I am sure messrs Hodgson, Pulis and Allardyce will have as their number one aim for next season as being to get to 40 points.
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Can Mancini deliver Champions League Football to Eastlands as promised.

Well the Premier League returned this weekend and whilst the title battle seemed to swing towards Chelsea and the relegation battle continued to look increasingly muddied, the most intriguing contest appears to be the race for the final Champions League place.

In recent years this has always been an intriguing battle and one that usually goes to the last game of the season. In the end though, it is always the self-titled “Big Four” of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United who always seem to make it in the end. The one year that Everton actually usurped their city neighbours, Liverpool went on to win the Chamions League itself so were allowed into it the following season in any event. Spurs also looked like they could crash this new world order until their final games of the season at West Ham which they lost meekly amid allegations of food poisoning centred on a dodgy lasagne.

This year the candidates for the 4th place are Aston Villa, Liverpool, Manchester City and once again Spurs. The last weekend was seen as pivotal in deciding the outcome of this contest as the two favourites met at the City of Manchester Stadium. What transpired in actual fact was one of the most boring games of the season as these two simply decided not to attack the other and settle for a 0-0 draw. This therefore gave very little away in terms of who will triumph (if you can call finishing fourth a triumph). I will therefore endeavour to give an insight into who I think will claim the final coveted Chamions League place.
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Burnley win the 2009 Championship Playoff Final

Greetings all, welcome to the first of a weekly post on the topics of all things English football (and occassionally European football).

I am a follower of a team that is constantly invlolved in a relegation battle to stay in the Premiership. I therefore spend my life going through fixture lists to establish where the necessary 40 points can be gathered from so that I can do the same next season. However, the last weekend provided a break from the Premiership and this grim task and allowed the FA Cup to take centre stage. The FA Cup though failed to deliver if we’re honest and provided no talking points of note (other than the usual Neil Warnock rant at officials). I have therefore decided to direct this first post at all things Football League.

Sky and the BBC currently cover the Football League and in my experience, this coverage adopts a sort of patronising approach of – look at the funny little clubs playing “real” football. This is best highlighted in the BBC’s dreadful post Match of the Day Football League Show with its awful e-mail sections so that “real fans can contact the show”.
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Can Man Utd make it 3 in a row?

I was meant to write this article last weekend, before the premiership kicked off. But unfortunately I was down the coast in Sorrento in a friend’s beach house, recovering from a round of golf and an afternoon wine tasting. I’m sure you can now understand why I didn’t get round to it. Still, I’m here now, and super psyched that the football season has begun. Also, I think we could do with a break from cricket on this blog!

To business then. Regular readers will know that I’m a Manchester City fan. And as such, I’ve been looking forward to this season with salivating anticipation, if that makes sense. As I’ve just been reminded, 11 years ago, at the start of the 1998/1999 season, City were building up for their assault on the then Division 2 [League Two] title. My early childhood hero, Georgi Kinkladze had just departed for Ajax, and things didn’t look good. Still, we had Paul Dickov and Kevin Horlock, among others! Surely things could only get better?
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Gareth Barry has completed his £12 million move to Man City

So we come to the end of another football season (thats soccer to any Aussies reading this), and with no World Cup or European Championship, we must occupy ourselves with the merry-go-round that are transfer rumours. Being a Man City fan means that this short period (before the season starts up again in August) is now a little bit more interesting then it used to be. I still remember the days of rumours circulating around City of the arrival of Darius Vassell for a mere £1.2 million. The sad thing now, is that as City have more money then C. Montgomery Burns, rumours linking us with literally any player in the world is just not that exciting anymore.

£140 million for Messi? Sure, why not.

What interests me more, is speculating on which players City will actually manage to sign. Sure, we can afford to spend any amount on any player, but the fact of the matter is, none of them will want to come while City are not yet in Europe. Instead, we must concentrate on getting the players that can get us there, and the signing of Gareth Barry this week is an indication that that is exactly what Mark Hughes and the City board are planning. Barry is just the sort of experienced Premiership player we need, and will be a great addition to the City midfield. Barry also possesses a large amount of versatility (having played left back and centre back before), which is always a bonus when you have to change tactic mid game.
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