No Sepp we said it was rubbish, definitley not special

So the World Cup has drawn to a close with the trophy heading to sunny Spain for the first time. The final itself, however, followed an all too familiar pattern for big games at this tournament being as it was on the whole a completely tedious affair. Sepp Blatter’s conclusion of the tournament was that it will be remembered as “a special World Cup”. It should though be remembered dear reader that Sepp was never likely to slate this World Cup as he has made it his one ambition to take the tournament to Africa. It is with this in mind that we should treat Sepp’s conclusion with a pinch of salt and look to reach a sensible conclusion as to how the 2010 World Cup should be remembered.

Looking at the final firstly, this was a truly dreadful game played between a Spain side who got nowhere near to reaching the heights they obtained in Euro 2008 and a Netherlands side who gave a very good impression of the Wimbledon team of John Fashanu and Vinnie Jones rather than their total football fore-fathers. Spain emerged victorious after extra-time and their achievement of holding the European Championship and World Cup trophies simultaneously should be applauded. Having seen all of the games they have played, however, it was only in the semi-final against Germany that the Spanish came anywhere near to being a good watch. In fact most of their games have been downright boring, lest we forget their defeat to Switzerland and their very fortuitous victory over Paraguay. Therefore although they are probably rightly considered the best team in the world, the Spanish were certainly not the best team in this tournament. Despite of the Spanish shortcomings, the whole world outside of the Netherlands surely cheered their victory on Sunday evening. The Dutch are usually looked upon fondly by the football watching world by virtue of their great teams of the past including such luminaries as Cruyff, Gullit, Van Basten and Bergkamp. Their 2010 vintage though were a pale imitation of these teams of the past as they tried to simply kick the Spanish off the pitch rather than attempting to play any meaningful football of their own. The chief culprits were Mark van Bommel, who had been a constant fouler throughout the tournament, and his fellow defensive midfielder Nigel de Jong who tried to decapitate Xabi Alonso for which he was only booked. Upon the final whistle the Dutch had the cheek to moan incessantly at referee Howard Webb rather than accept the defeat in good grace. They should possibly remember that they were lucky to have got to half-time without having at least two players sent-off. So although it was the right result on the night, it should not be forgotten that it was a poor game that brought an end to a tournament full of poor games.

The build-up to this World Cup was lengthy and by the time the first game kicked-off the footballing world was at boiling point. This soon dissipated as the first games were on the whole tedious. We were told it would improve once teams realised they needed to win, but on the whole it did not and right throughout the football was a very poor imitation of what fans of European club football are used to seeing on a weekly basis. The notable exceptions to this were Chile, Argentina and Germany who were the only teams in the tournament who seemed to go into every game with the simple thesis of trying to score goals against the opposition – if only the likes of Portugal and the Netherlands had adopted a similar approach, we might have got the great tournament we expected. The upshot of these turgid games was that the global stars of club football failed to shine so the world did not get to see the best of Rooney, Ronaldo, Ribery and Kaka. The one stand-out game that bucked this trend was Slovakia v. Italy which was the game of the tournament by a considerable distance as it was a rare example of end-to-end drama and goals galore. Upon reflection therefore this tournament should be looked at as a poor example of the state of international football. The poor football was also played in front of stadiums that were never full which also suggests the South African public didn’t embrace the tournament to the extent that Mr. Blatter liked to think they would. All in all then I can’t help but feel short-changed from the last month and am now wondering if I will get so excited for the next World Cup in four years.

Recently Jose Mourinho argued that the Champions League final rather than the World Cup final is the biggest game in football and having seen the last World Cup, it is hard not to agree with him. Club football provides numerous talking points and at least two or three good games every week. As the season evolves club games become more and more important for all clubs and games become tense and usually dramatic to such an extent that they are remembered for years to come. When comparing Premier League and Champions League fixtures with the last months offerings from South Africa I’m afraid there is no comparison and with this in mind, you have to conclude that annoyingly once again Jose has hit the nail on the head. So enough doom and gloom, lets cheer the fact that club football returns with a vengeance in a few short weeks and we can forget the tedium of the last month.

So what can we conclude from all this dear reader in order for us not to consider the whole thing pointless. Well all I can say is that in the lead-up to the 2014 tournament, we should maybe treat all the hype with an element of caution and rather than presuming the World Cup will be a festival of good football, it should have to prove that it is first. Finally, I would like to reserve a special mention to the vuvuzelas that have dominated the sound-waves in recent times. I implore all football fans to ignore this fad at games in the coming season, as the great thing about football atmospheres is the way the crowd reacts to events which we simply didn’t get in South Africa as all we were treated to instead was the constant hum of the dreaded vuvuzela (at least Sepp seemed to like them I suppose).

Nelson prepares to give the World Cup to the Germans and the world rejoices

Anyone who has watched a commercial television channel in recent days can’t have failed to notice that the vast majority of adverts now involve the great sport of football. This has become so prevalent that the greatest sport of them all now features in adverts for sofa sales (that always seem to end on Sunday at 5pm) and in an even stranger advertising strategy, in the adverts for an online car purchasing company. Even on the Beeb, Sue Barker can be seen looking cross at Queens as she realises that her precious Wimbledon will be playing second fiddle this year to the greatest show on earth. That is rights dear reader the World Cup starts on Friday and all other television programmes can forget it as there will only be one thing worth watching for the next month – and guess what Sue it isn’t tennis.
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Capello ponders how to tell Carrick that he's not coming on safari.

For some strange reason I love this bit in a World Cup Year. The country (England this is) is swept up in World Cup Fever. Every other advertisement has a football connection somewhere, builders start parading the flags they got free in The Sun on their vehicles and grannies across England start knitting jumpers of various shades of red and white for their “little Jimmy”. Optimism sweeps the country as the press hype up the teams chances and newspapers start offering free tickets to the Victory Parade.

It’s also the time when the England coach has to cut his squad down from 30 odd to 23. Some years it’s obvious, some years it’s not. This year is no exception. The obvious facts are, that Gareth Barry’s injury in the City match against Spurs last month has left such an enormous hole in the centre of the England midfield that it’s in danger of consuming the whole country. Some members of the press and the public think that Barry has had a poor season and is no good in an England shirt. However, it is no coincidence that England have looked disjointed and un-balanced without him. He is the glue that holds them all together.

Without Barry, England are left to make do with any of Huddlestone, Parker, Carrick, Milner or playing Gerrard and Lampard together (and we all know where that ends up). The rusty performance against Mexico last week shows that neither Milner nor Carrick really have what it takes, but then that should have been obvious before the game. Milner is better on the flank and Carrick has had a shocking season and shouldn’t really be anywhere near the squad. I, like every other proud Englishman, have my own opinion on this matter, and I will share it with you soon.
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Fabregas .. kissing good-bye to Arsenal?

So here we are in the middle of May in that strange period between the end of the season and the start of the World Cup. Fear not though dear reader as there is still plenty going on as the FA Cup and Europa League finals have taken place, the drama of the play-offs is in full swing and Cesc Fabregas has filled the Ronaldo role of “transfer saga to Spain” that will no doubt last all blinking summer.

The first final in these days of relative calm in between the clamour for league points and a certain event in South Africa was the Europa League final between our own Fulham and Atletico Madrid. The romantics were sure that Fulham would win this as their run to the final had been so improbable and unexpected, but Atletico with their rather useful strike-force of Aguero and Forlan (who is a different player to the one who used to run around Old Trafford missing every chance that came his way) would certainly be no push-over. In the end Fulham were rather disappointing and the only surprise was that it took Atletico extra-time to finally complete a fully deserved victory. The goals of course came from that man Forlan and the hopes of the romantics were dashed as a consequence. This game was shown on Channel Five who went to town as this was their first opportunity to show a major final involving an English club. Five responded to this pressure by showing two hours of build-up involving Colin Murray, Stan Collymore and Pat Nevin and with the exception of the erudite Mr. Nevin this was tedious in the extreme. Note to Five thirty minutes is more than enough build up!
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Champions Chelsea ... no final day dramas

So that is that then, the end of league football in England and Scotland and all in all the overriding feeling about the final weekend was that it was on the whole tension free. This is in great contrast to the season finales of recent years which have been characterised by unbearable tension and an ever changing picture of who will emerge triumphant and who will fall through the trap-door (who can forget the monumental “Survival Sunday” when West Brom managed to move from last place to fourth from bottom on the final day). This year saw a relegation battle decided weeks ago and the battle for the final Champions League place decided the previous week so all eyes were on who would emerge from this final day as champions. In the end Chelsea crushed hapless Wigan 8-0 meaning that the destiny of the title was in no doubt whatsoever.

In the lead up to this finale I endeavoured to predict the outcome of the various races that were ongoing in the Premier League and upon the final whistle of the season I have been able to reflect on the wisdom (or lack of it) of these predictions. In the race for the title I made the slightly bold prediction that Arsenal would emerge victorious. My reasoning for this being that they had by far the easiest run-in compared to their rivals and they had given glimpses of a new-found steel by winning away games at traditionally tricky venues such as at the Britannia Stadium. I hold my hands up that I put too much faith in the Gunners and they did their usual trick of buckling in extremely meek fashion. The inherent problems with Arsenal were encapsulated perfectly in their recent game at Wigan when they managed to turn a 2-0 lead into a 3-2 defeat.
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A Grimsby fan yesterday ... looking forward to invading the pitch in celebration on Saturday

Well here we are dear reader facing the end of league football in England this weekend as the Premier League, Leagues One and Two are all set to follow the Championship in coming to an end leaving the majority of fans with no live footy to watch until August (fear not though we have the brilliance of the play-offs and then the small matter of the World Cup to come). However, before we get over the finish line there are a number of issues to be resolved, none more so than the League Title, the destiny of the final Champions League place, promotion from League One and relegation from the Football League itself. This means that there will be numerous games up and down the country where fans will have one eye on their team’s match and an ear stuck to a transistor radio desperately hoping that the other result goes their way. We have already seen the brilliance of the final weekend by virtue of the Championship finishing in the weekend just gone. This saw Blackpool and Swansea fans glued to their radios and mobile phones just as much as they were watching their own team play. In the end the hilarious Ian Holloway triumphed so that Blackpool now have a real chance of making it into the Premier League provided they can come through the always dramatic and brilliant play-offs (I bet Arsene can’t wait for a trip to Bloomfield Road on a Tuesday night in November). At the bottom of the Championship fans of Sheffield Wednesday and Crystal Palace didn’t have to divert their attention to the other’s match in the battle against relegation as due to the brilliance of the fixture computer they were paired together in a winner takes all game at Hillsbrough. In the end it ended in a highly entertaining 2-2 draw in the sort of game that can only be played at this time of the season as Sheffield Wednesday spent the last few minutes permanently in the Palace box desperately searching for the goal that would guarantee safety. In the end though Palace held out after some brilliant last-ditch defending and so stay in the Championship while Wednesday have trips to Rochdale and Bournemouth to look forward to – such are the fine lines between success and failure in the month of May.
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Samba ... From the Congo and a fan of Um-Bongo (probably)

The season must be nearly over as for the first time we have seen that classic spring sight of Premier League fans sobbing and looking glumly at an empty pitch. This weekend saw this fate befall the home fans in attendance at the KC Stadium and Turf Moor. The Burnley and Hull fans were finally put out of their misery by virtue of their own team’s incompetence and by the rare sight of a West Ham win. From personal experience until that point when it is mathematically impossible to catch the teams above fans of the teams below the dreaded dotted line will have been thinking we can win those last games to climb out, in so doing ignoring the fact that they have only won twice in the last twenty games, I therefore bet there are some Hull fans who believe it is not impossible for them to overturn the huge goal difference to catch West Ham. Sorry Hull fans that won’t be happening and you have trips to Scunthorpe, Barnsley and Doncaster to look forward to next year and by the sounds of it maybe with the added hindrance of a ten point penalty for going into administration – good luck with that then. Burnley should fare better in the league of the damned as they seemed to expect to go straight back down by pocketing the majority of their Sky millions and keeping it under lock and key (unlike Hull who seem to have given most of theirs to Jimmy Bullard’s knee surgeon). I therefore can see the Clarets returning in a year in the mould of their fellow yo-yoers West Bromwich Albion. Personally, the relegation of the bottom three is good for the quality of grounds in the Premier League as Fratton Park and Turf Moor are grotty little places and can’t compare to the size and comfort of the returning St. James’s Park.

With the relegation battle now resolved (cue a 10-0 Hull win and a 10-0 West Ham defeat next week to ridicule this statement), the Premiership has two weeks left to go with the title and the destiny of the final Champions League place still very much up in the air. It seems certain that the title will be decided this weekend as both Chelsea and Manchester United have easy games on the final day therefore I propose that if Chelsea end the week above that delightful club from Manchester they will be champions. I don’t like Chelsea but if they have to win the title then so be it as a fourth straight United triumph will just feel completely depressing. The race for fourth is also up in the air as it could still go to any of four clubs. We can therefore expect that final Sunday Sky madness of tables constantly changing and Chinese whispers whipping round stadiums that end up being hilarious for the onlooker when they turn out to be erroneous. So Man City, Spurs, Villa and Liverpool get those radios and mobile phones ready for a weekend of constant score checking. I for one can’t wait!
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Neville - not good for a hangover!

This time last week dear reader it looked like the end of the Premier League season was going to be a bit of a damp squib as Chelsea looked set to cruise to the title, Man City looked to have fourth sewn up and Hull and Burnley looked doomed to spend next season in the league of hell. Whilst the Tigers’ and Clarets’ relegations now look increasingly certain, the title race and Champions League races have been blown wide open. Chelsea were fortunate to beat Bolton last week but their luck ran out at White Hart Lane on Saturday evening. Chelsea lost to Spurs and in doing so were absolutely terrible in a game that they should have lost at least 5-1. Gareth Bale ripped them apart and in recent weeks the slightly odd looking Welshman has possibly been the best player in the league – a Welshman the best player in the Premier League who’d have believed that! The game also saw that horrible thug John Terry get sent off as he continues to look off the pace which must be a worry for Don Fabio – don’t worry Fabio there is always Matthew Upson who could come in (oh God England are in big trouble).

Chelsea though were more than likely to be able to get away with their latest stumble as they already had a four point lead over Manchester United who had an equally tricky game at that big council house in east Manchester the rent of which is paid by you dear reader every time you fill up your Vauxhall Vectra with unleaded. After a week of typically under-stated Sky build-up to this game it was actually rather tedious as City decided to revert to an impression of a Serie A team by seemingly settling for a 0-0 from minute one. The only outcome from this rather boring game was of course another winner for Manchester United deep into injury time for the second time against City this season. The one photograph that seemed to emerge from this game was one of those lovely Gary Neville and Paul Scholes chaps kissing on the lips. I woke up on Sunday with a mild hangover the one thing that I did not want to see was a ginger man and a man resembling a rat kissing each other. Sorry dear reader but the only same sex kissing I would be happy to see is between Sky Sports presenter Georgie Thompson and Countryfile presenter Julia Bradbury.
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Messi's 4 goals eliminate Arsenal

Well dear reader another week has passed since we last met and the end of the season is now very much in focus which inevitably leads to drama in more games than not. The week just passed began with Arsenal and Manchester United trying to continue the Premier League’s dominance of the latter stages of the Champions League. An injury ravaged Arsenal attempted to beat the greatest football team since records began (as decided by the English media in 2010 so ignoring the Milan team of the 1990s, the Ajax team of the 1970s and the Real Madrid team of the 1950s) and predictably got thrashed by some chap called Messi. Lionel played rather well but it must be remembered that Arsenal were completely under-strength for the game and I would fancy most half decent teams to score a few goals against a back four containing Mickael Silvestre.

So with Arsenal out all eyes turned to that big warehouse in an industrial estate in western Manchester (which for some reason is branded as the “Theatre of Dreams” by the self-titled biggest club in the world) to see if Manchester United could beat Bayern Munich and so make it to the semi-finals of the Champions League. After twenty minutes United had steam-rollered the Germans and were cruising but then somehow managed to throw it away courtesy of a brilliant goal by that crock who used to play for Chelsea – Arjen Robben. Alex Ferguson’s (I refuse to call him Sir) reaction to this game was hilarious as he said the Munich players pressured the referee into sending off Rafael. Now for those of you with short memories I would ask you to remember every time a decision has gone against Manchester United in the last twenty years and think of the sight of Roy Keane, Gary Neville, Jaap Stam and Rio Ferdinand surrounding countless referees. That man Ferguson really beggars belief. He also decided to play the clearly injured Wayne Rooney further showing that United are nothing other than a one man team.
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Rooney picks up a knock at Munich

Good day dear reader, it is safe to say that quite a lot has happened in the last week which has made it slightly difficult to focus on particular points for this blog. I therefore apologise if I have missed anything that you feel worthy of discussion. I am currently writing this on Tuesday 6 April 2010 in the play-off fearing garden city of Leeds. This means that I am still awaiting the outcome of Manchester United’s and Arsenal’s Champions League quarter final games. Having seen the first legs though it seems inconceivable that they both can progress to the next round. Starting with Arsene’s lot from North London via France, I don’t think I have witnessed a more dominant first twenty minutes of a game (that is until Manchester City travelled to Turf Moor but more of that later) as Barcelona completely out-Arsenaled Arsenal.

I am not a huge fan of the club from Catalonia as I find that they are usually over-hyped by commentators and analysts to the point where it is just assumed that all of their players are absolute geniuses (in the same way that we will be treated to in the upcoming World Cup in every game involving Brazil). I have to admit though that they completely destroyed Arsenal at the start of the game in such a way that they should have been at least 5-0 up at half-time, however, by some miracle Arsenal managed to come back to snatch a very fortuitous draw.

The Arsenal game followed a similar theme to that involving those lovely bunch of chaps from Manchester the night before, being that all the talk afterwards was of nothing other than injuries. In Arsenal’s case it seemed to be that every single one of their players was now injured for a number of weeks, but in the case of Manchester United it was one injury in particular that had the whole of England in a cold sweat. Yes dear reader the worst case scenario seemed to have passed – Wayne Rooney looked to have badly injured his ankle right at the end of their game with Bayern Munich. The sight of Rooney hobbling off the field without one boot on brought back images of his withdrawal from Euro 2004 – surely it couldn’t be the curse of the metatarsal?
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