Andrew Strauss contempltes England's short comings

What a shocking weekend. I left work on Friday night looking forward to watching what could be the defining test in this Ashes series. Although I had a bad feeling about this test match, not in my wildest nightmares did I envisage such a car crash of a performance then I have done this weekend. Now, as I write this, with England 172-7, still 150 odd runs behind, I have every expectation that they will be all out by the time I finish writing. As an aside, my lacrosse team also got hammered, and the only bright spot, was Carlton’s win over Geelong.

In all fairness, I thought Australia were outstanding. Their bowlers finally delivered the sort of performance that has been expected of them ever since the series began. Making best use of the seam and swing friendly conditions, they tore through the England batting line up as if they weren’t there. A small figurine made out of cheese with a wooden stick would have been more successful then England’s middle order. Australia could have performed at half the standard they have done, and they would still have won by an innings.

In all my cricket-watching career, I have yet to see an England performance this insipid. And that’s saying something. I grew up in the glorious 90′s when England were regularly dismissed for scores in the 40′s. But the one I’ve witnessed this weekend is a new low. Coming at a time when England really needed to apply themselves, where a good performance and a win would have seen the Ashes coming home, it has been all the more disappointing. We couldn’t have chocked more, even if we’d been New Zealanders in a rugby world cup.

Without Kevin Peitersen, England’s middle order has the aura of a slightly vexed koala bear. I’ve never fancied Ian Bell, and he again proved why he doesn’t cut it at this level. He looked uncomfortable at Edgbaston, and was poor here. Ravi Bopara has been playing on borrowed time ever since the series began. Although he scored 3 test hundreds in the series leading up to this one, his short comings in the number 3 position has been ruthlessly exposed by the Australians. Paul Collingwood has also been poor in this game. He does seem to play better with Kevin Pietersen in the team, but he’s the experienced man, and sometimes needs to step up when things are going wrong.

The bowling wasn’t great either. With the Australian attack showing exactly what line and length to bowl at, I was staggered at the garbage England produced. To give them credit again, Australia batted well, but they were helped at times by some truly dreadful bowling. Harmison, back in the side for Freddie, continued to serve up some hooking and cutting practice for Clarke and Ponting. He will be a straight swap out should Flintoff return for the Oval.

8 down now. Not long.

So what now. We head to the Oval at 1-1, with the the final test match the decider. Whilst this should excite some, the Oval has been a run fest in county cricket all summer, and usually offers nothing for the bowler, so a draw, and Australia retaining the ashes, is seemingly the most liklely result. The only positive I can take from this horror weekend, is that I feel the pressure is off now. England head to the Oval with nothing to lose. They must win. Any other result will be pointless. And they should approach the test match in the appropriate manner. Now is not the time for consolidation. Bopara has been rubbish all seires. Drop him and get someone else in. What’s the worst that could happen? Give Trott a whirl. People seem to forget that Cook was a succussful number 3 for England for a few games, so we shouldn’t discount that option.

So I’ve finished now, and England aren’t all out. Indeed, we made it to lunch! The tailenders seemingly showing the England middle order that this batting lark is quite simple really, you swing the bat, hit that round red thing, and the ball goes to the boundary, easy.

Still, with a middle order this pathetic, it’s amzing we’ve reached the Oval at 1-1.